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The Heart We Carry With Us

If it's not real, I Don't want it on my Blog. With love, Kolina

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This makes my heart go “AH”

“I’ve been so young for so long and so old for longer – so heart wrinkled and naive all at once”

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Owning your own story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light ✨ - @brenebrown . . Photographed are words from a friend that came just when I needed them 💛 . #chronicpain #chronicpainwarrior #painscience #healing #energyshift #growing #poetry #instawriter #nepal #yogaeverydamnday

Yoga with this view. A homecoming in a foreign place. . . . Two weeks into this adventure and it hasn’t been easy. But I feel best when I breathe and come back in. . . . ✨Some of my affirmations this week ✨I am at home in my body. ✨I am safe in this body. ✨I trust myself to be okay wherever I am. I knew I needed this because I was too comfortable and now I’m uncomfortable and I don’t like it (classic). I cry a lot. That’s okay. This is the process. (It doesn’t feel okay but I’m gonna keep reminding myself it is) LEAN IN. . . . #yogaeverydamday #yogaeverydamnday #yoga #nepal #chronicpain #chronicpainwarrior #painscience #travel

September 2nd, for the past nine years has been a day of reflection. Almost a check in. How much farther have I come since he left. Where is my life now? Where else have my feet carried me? This year was a big one dad. I can see you now belting out “live like you were dying” in the car. I think I’ve got us covered on that one. I’ll keep working at it, I promise. I know you’re proud I just wish I could hear you say it.

🏕Some of you may have seen my stories last week about how I ended up dealing with some pretty intense symptoms Thursday night. . . 🏕HUGE BUMMER. It was so painful. I couldn’t sleep. It was so uncomfortable. The idea of heading into back country the next day seemed like a pretty horrible idea. . . 🏕 If this had happened a year ago I probably wouldn’t have gone and I would have spend the weekend crying and letting that negative energy fuel my perception that I don’t get to live my life . If this had happened 8 months ago, well I probably wouldn’t have had a camping tripped planned anyway because I would have been too scared. . . 🏕This time though, I did something different. I took a day to take care of myself, and the next day we got up at 6am and headed for the trees 🌲 and guess WHAT! The pain. Didn’t. Get. Worse. That’s RIGHT. I have spent so much time AVOIDING and not TRYING because my pain MIGHT get worse. I didn’t KNOW that it would - which means I didn’t know that I WOULDN’T either. . . 🏕 Now this doesn’t mean it was easy. 36 hours was about all I could handle. Erik carried everything after about a km in because it was too much for me and did most of the paddling. But I hiked 12km in 24 hours and this is coming from the girl who couldn’t even walk for 15 minutes at the beginning of the year because it hurt. This is left me energized to keep pushing. To keep healing. To keep recovering. Maybe in a year I’LL be the one carrying the canoe 😏 . . 🏕Celebrating the baby (huge) steps working and shifting my perspective about bumps in the road - that’s big. And I wouldn’t have witnessed this sunset or the stars, or the moon rising above the trees without it. I was missing out on LIFE without it. . . . #chronicpain #chronicpainwarrior #postconcussionsyndrome #perspectiveshift #painscience #mindbodyconnection #camping #nature

Some people burn harder than others {2017} . . . (I still write poetry!!! I forgot about that!!) #igwrites #poetry #poetrycommunity #bymepoetryamerica #spilledink #instapoet

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