Category: Poetry; The Love I Gained Through Loss

So here is everything.

The heartache, the loss, the breaking, the bending, the sickness, the blanks spots on the page where the tears splashed , the loving, the breathlessness, the passion, the music, the screaming, the fighting,the learning, the changing, the growing, the happiness, the yearning, the heaving in my chest, the wobbling of my pen, the light in my eyes..

This, is the love I gained through loss.

*A note to the reader: Should you choose to use my words at any time I am begging you firmly and kindly to give me credit. This is my heart. It is mine only and it is bursting with courage at the chance to share itself with you. It would break to know it has been misused.

013// Relive Me

December 4, 2018.Reading time 1 minute.

It’s lovely to me the way you talk about the parts of life that get you excitedit’s as if you are experiencing them for the very first timeover and overWatching your eyes light up anew as you relive something that has already thrilled you once before-it’s a privilege.I find myself becoming increasing attached to the […]

012// Missing Season

October 9, 2018.Reading time 1 minute.

I should have known it when I felt it first – when the colours on the leaves started changing and the air became real crisp in the morning- It’s in the glimmer of rays that shine onto windows and reflect through condensation on a glass of water- the one that I held to my lips […]

011// Look at me Now

July 13, 2018.Reading time 1 minute.

I looked at the pictures she had taken of me in the Garden — smile on my face — sun beaming And I thought to myself that if I could send any picture to heaven it would be this one “Look Dad and Oma, I shine just like the flowers do” Real talk on loss: Perhaps […]

010//My Kindness is Raw

May 24, 2018.Reading time less than 1 minute.

People say that I will change As if the world can harden me They have looked at me with the same knowing in their eyes, since I was 15 years old As if they can predict that one day my kindness will be all used up it has been eight years since I first noticed […]

009//My Mother is a Shapeshifter

May 13, 2018.Reading time 1 minute.

How can i understand what it means to provide a home when i have not felt what it’s like to have two hearts beating together i age, and think to myself that i understand sacrifices willpower strength and resilience without ever having the expectation to reciprocate the way She has moulded Herself to fit my […]

008// When does Compassion Become Naivety

May 20, 2017.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I tuck the people I meet into hidden parts of myself and they get lost; preserving their goodness in me like flower petals hidden in a book. They are pressed perfectly in time this way and in so doing I am unable to hold onto the ugly. I see only the parts of them that are fragile, […]

007// Finding Home

January 23, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

I wrote the first few lines of this poem in a grocery store parking lot in the notes section of my phone. The idea of home is something I’ve turned over in my mind for quiet a few years now and I’ve never really been sure what to make of it. However, in a hotel […]

006// You Don’t Make me Feel a Damn Thing

December 22, 2016.Reading time 1 minute.

Show me that there is more That there are bumps in your clean cut edges. That you would rather free fall than let all of the pieces fall into place. Give me a reason to stop breathing , and make me like it so much that I never want to fully fill my lungs again […]

Endless Possibilities

November 30, 2016.Reading time 1 minute.

Starting a new book always leaves my mind buzzing. The prospect of 200 blank pages waiting to be filled over the next few months is mind boggling- these pages represent the spaces that will be left where the tears fell and the ink can’t write, or the scribbles that try to tie my brain back […]