Fuschl Am See

Much of the writing I find myself recording in the little books I carry around with me is observation. Throughout my time in Europe I did my best to see people, to listen to the things that were occurring around me. One day, while my family spent some time on the lake in Austria, a particular family caught my attention and this is what I wrote once I swam back to shore:

 

“I am sitting on a dock in the middle of a lake; it is crystal clear, surrounded by mountains.

The water is cold.

The cold kind of fresh that makes you feel clean when you jump in

A family of four swims up to the dock

There is a dad, a mom, a daughter and a son.

The kids are young.

The boy yells “komm papa komm! Los geht’s!”

They are giggling and all smiles. I watch them for a while wrestling and throwing each other into the water.

Normally these things make me miss my dad- and while this reminded me of the times we used to have together- it made me miss the idea of family as a whole.

For so long I have wrested with the idea that having children is selfish.

That time and resources should be invested elsewhere.

Lying here, mesmerized by this happy little family I feel like I can’t tell myself this anymore.

Someday in the far future I am going to have a family.

I am going to have kids and adopt kids.
From a very young age I am going to look into their shining eyes full of potential and teach them how to take on life and appreciate it with every inch. of. their. souls. “

 

 

With love,

Kolina

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A 22 year old practical nurse trying to to stretch my heart as far and wide as it will go

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