Much of the writing I find myself recording in the little books I carry around with me is observation. Throughout my time in Europe I did my best to see people, to listen to the things that were occurring around me. One day, while my family spent some time on the lake in Austria, a particular family caught my attention and this is what I wrote once I swam back to shore:
“I am sitting on a dock in the middle of a lake; it is crystal clear, surrounded by mountains.
The water is cold.
The cold kind of fresh that makes you feel clean when you jump in
A family of four swims up to the dock
There is a dad, a mom, a daughter and a son.
The kids are young.
The boy yells “komm papa komm! Los geht’s!”
They are giggling and all smiles. I watch them for a while wrestling and throwing each other into the water.
Normally these things make me miss my dad- and while this reminded me of the times we used to have together- it made me miss the idea of family as a whole.
For so long I have wrested with the idea that having children is selfish.
That time and resources should be invested elsewhere.
Lying here, mesmerized by this happy little family I feel like I can’t tell myself this anymore.
Someday in the far future I am going to have a family.
I am going to have kids and adopt kids.
From a very young age I am going to look into their shining eyes full of potential and teach them how to take on life and appreciate it with every inch. of. their. souls. “